Laugh With Moms

I just returned from a weekend with my college friends.  I should say 24 hours, but at this point anytime with the girls is a nice break from daily life.  We surprised one of our friends by making an unexpected appearance at an engagement party in her honor.  We all live all over the country so her tears of joy upon seeing us was priceless.  She has met a wonderful guy after many years of waiting for that right one to come along.  We had a great time and stayed up late talking and laughing about old times.  We make it a priority to get together once a year regardless of our busy schedules.  This year we will hopefully see each other twice as we will regroup for her wedding in March.  She and her fiancee have a tough road ahead of them as her fiancee has lung cancer that has recently spread to his liver.  He is young (one of the youngest to ever be diagnosed with lung cancer) and is not a smoker.  He is currently undergoing chemo, so for themplanning a wedding is just added stress in their life.  We were able to see how great they are together and what a force they are to be reckoned with, cancer does not have a chance!!  That is how we have to think as the alternative is a devastating one for us all.  Their everyday struggles and their fortitude to fight this disease and move on with their future, is a daily reminder to me how special life is and how lucky we all are to have friends and family that can help when things get overwhelming.    This post was supposed to be funny about all the things I had to do to get ready for me to leave town for 24 hours so my husband could survive with the three kids.  By the way, he would have been totally fine had a not done all those things, but it is the mother in all of us to make sure everyone is OK.  As I started to peck at the computer, all those little things I accomplished prior to the trip seemed so trivial in the scheme of things.  Life is precious and hard, but we have good friends and family to help us get through the rough spots.

Tonight my 4 year old son wanted to pretend he was the daddy and I was the mommy.   He told me about his day and how he spent it with his family and kids.  He went on to have a whole conversation about how he had to go to work tomorrow and have a meeting for a half hour.  I played along and asked a bunch of questions in which I got full detailed answers from him.  This is one of those times that I just can’t get enough of my adorable little monkey.  It also reminds me how I have to be careful of what I say in front of him since his answers to my questions were exactly how my husband and I would respond.   Good thing he didn’t use the “bad words”  I have uttered under my breath so many times in front of him.

It is 9:30pm and I just got off the phone with a friend. We were talking about an organization that we are both part of and how some of the women involved were so inappropriate. I have been part of a group for new moms and new neighbors for a while now. I first joined when my first son was 5 months old. I joined the playgroup hoping to connect with some other new moms there. What I found was that the women were very clicky and not open to meeting new people. I thought maybe it was just because I was in a vulnerable state at that time being a new mom, etc. So I found my connections with other classes and friends. Then when my son was a toddler I decided to try a playgroup again since it was now for my son’s enjoyment and not mine. It seemed to work okay when we could actually make it. However, those few women were always there and always clicky as they were two years earlier. I thought to myself at that moment this is like being in high school. What is wrong with these women? Luckily, I made my connections with the people who I always do–the ones that have substance to them and are kind and funny and freely admit that they are vulnerable at times. Then when my second son was born I decided to get involved with the group again. I co chaired a volunteer position with a friend. I felt like I know so many women now that are part of this organization and feel like they want to volunteer for positions but don’t want to deal with those same women. I felt validated in a way when I realized I wasn’t the only person to feel affected by this so called “click”. However, I still can’t believe that these women ruin it for so many others. I think what makes an organization like this work is when people get out of their comfort zones and open up to meeting all types of people. I find it ironic that these are the same women that constantly tell people they need more volunteers and to try something new,etc. I wonder one day if it will be at a school meeting, a soccer game or a meeting from this organization that somebody will finally put these women in their place? I definitely don’t think we all need to be close friends but I do believe as a parent and adult you should be kind and civil to people around you. I guess one bad apple or two can ruin it if you let them. Of course, my husband has nicknamed me loose lips so I’m sure one of these days I’ll have had enough and I’ll be the person that finally tells these women to grow up.

I tiptoe downstairs this morning in search of a cup of coffee and 15 freaking minutes of peace and quiet. These are the most cherished moments of my day. Ahhh coffee. Although I went to bed 5 hours ago, I need this more than sleep. Last night I went to a business dinner with my husband and several of his colleagues. I realized after I sloshed white wine down my pretty new blouse (Marshalls, of course!), and spilled my salad onto my lap, that I have lost the ability to hang with grown-ups. In the end I redeemed myself. I was even able contribute a bit to the conversation. This seems like such a distant memory now as I watch my 4 year old come down dressed and ready to go. Did I mention that I have only been sitting here for 5 minutes and he is dressed as the Incredible Hulk? 

Twenty minutes before we have to leave for my son’s soccer game, we can’t find his grey sock that matches his outfit.  How in the world do we always lose one sock?  Does the washer eat one sock and spit out the other one?  At one point I said, “daddy has a grey sock, let’s just wear his!”  That was met with a shake of his head and a disappointment in how unorganized his mommy can be.  I think he was thinking, I bet she can’t even find daddy’s grey sock!!!  In the end, we found the sock, crumpled up next to the washer.  We wore it dirty and it will hopefully find the washer sometime this week.  We can only hope to have two socks clean for next week.